First I should admit that I have sometimes enjoyed Jezebel articles. I know they're often problematic to say the least, but I have to take what I can get sometimes.
I initially thought the headline must be a joke on how people hate young women for posting selfies. Turns out it wasn't. Although it's ostensibly 'caring' about how young women view themselves, it's actually judging that this method of self expression (where the image is in fact controlled by the woman in it) is not valid and is in fact submitting to the patriarchy's view that women should be judged on looks alone.
Bollocks.
In my opinion, this view basically tells women off for showing off. That sounds a little like 'be modest' 'you won't be respected if you flaunt yourself' and similar tripe.
My personal take on selfies is pretty uncomplicated. I'm fat. Like, really fat. I'm ok with it, so are my family and friends, so that's that. It does make it difficult to like the way I look though as the message throughout our culture is that not only is my body unacceptable, but it's my fault, I should feel guilty about it and people are allowed to express an opinion about it as they're 'worried about my health'. As a result I avoided mirrors where possible and maintained a false image of myself (not thinner, but what I thought was prettier) that I could live with. I found it impossible to believe that my husband could find me attractive if the mirror was accurate.
So when I got an iphone and could easily take pictures of my face without anyone else seeing them, of course I did! It was a shock at first finding out the real shape of my nose, how uneven my eyes are etc etc. so as someone with unhealthily low self esteem I took hundreds of pictures and videos and just stared at them. First I was in a pit of self loathing, but as I became used to my actual face, I discovered that in fact there were some new things I liked. I enjoyed that I wasn't blandly pretty, that my small nose curves under slightly and makes me look more adult than I thought and my eyes are really interesting. Oh, and my mouth is just hot.
So I graduated to posting pictures online, and over time they've ranged from incredibly flattering with makeup I spent ages on to bare faced and blotchy, as long as they reflect an aspect of me I don't give a crap. I get my husband to take full length pictures of my outfits and post them. I've even posted a selfie of me eating a giant ice cream which is a huge deal for a fatty.
I think my point is that my iphone and selfies really helped me discover how I really look and realise what my loved ones have been telling me for years. I look great.
So if you like posting selfies, post them. Take 100 till you find the right picture or snap one and shove it out there just 'cause you fancy it. Nobody else gets to decide why you're doing it and they don't get to say what impact (if any) it has on you.
Love and kisses,
H.
No comments:
Post a Comment